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Honor Thy Parents

Honoring Your Mother and Your Father

"Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory;
  but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other
  better than themselves."   Philippians 2:3

Also see the article of Honoring your Mother and your Father from Jews for Jesus website.
Below is some info I have found on the web about Honoring your parents... Which I believe that most children today do the opposite..

Exodus 20:12 says, “Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the LORD your God will give you.”
Col 3:20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

We make the mistake of thinking that our parents owe us. We think that they should
feed and clothe us, pay for our education and our weddings. After all, we didn't
ask to be born, right? Wrong. Our parents don't owe us. We owe them. They gave us life.

The gratefulness that we should feel for this gift of life should inspire us to
 give back to our parents.

Our gifts don't necessarily have to be material ones. The Talmud says that we can
serve our parents an elaborate feast fit for a king and not fulfill the mitzvah
of honoring them. Yet it goes on to say that we can serve them "plain barley" 
and show them great honor.

The difference is in our attitude. Physical and material gestures are futile if 
they are offered without the intent of showing gratitude for all that they have
given us.


But what about all the things they did wrong? What if my parents were too critical
or negative? Why should I be grateful?

Imagine that your parents surprise you on your 20th birthday with a brand new car!
You run out in excitement, but you stop in your tracks when you see it. It doesn't
have wheels! You are furious and spend the next weeks sitting in the house pouting.
After all, what good is a car without wheels? 

What would be a more appropriate response?

Go out, earn some money, and buy the wheels!

In life, we are often too quick to blame our parents for our problems and
shortcomings. But we are acting like the person who gets the car without the wheels.
Did our parents make mistakes raising us? Of course they did! Everyone makes mistakes.

Our challenge in life is to accept what our parents gave us and make the best of it.  
Our challenge in life is to accept what they gave us -- the good and the bad -- 
and make our maximum effort in life with what we have.

Their mistakes do not eliminate our obligation to give them honor. Again, they
gave us life.

Even if we disagree with them, we must do it carefully. We should not contradict,
correct, or shame them. We must refrain from talking harshly to them. If they say
something wrong, instead of saying, "Dad, you're wrong," we should be more gentle
as in, "Dad, it seems to me that..." Your motivation and attitude make the difference.
You can read it in its entirety at
Honoring "Bad" Parents The Bible says to honor your parents, but what if they're abusive? By Chrstin Ditchfield

Q. I know the Bible says to honor your parents, but what if they are abusive,
neglectful, willfully absent, or indifferent? How do those of us who have been
constantly mistreated by our parents handle this passage of Scripture?

   —Hillari Hunter, via e-mail

A. The Scripture you're referring to is one of the Ten Commandments: "Honor your
 father and mother, that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving
 you" (Ex. 20:12; Eph. 6:1-3). When you're a child, honoring your parents is as
 simple as obeying them. Whether you like their rules or not, whether you agree
 with them or not, whether you want to or not—you obey. But as an adult, you are
 no longer obligated to live by your parents' rules. You don't have to submit to
 their authority. Honoring your parents then means treating them with kindness
 and respect. 

It can be a challenge at times for anyone whose parents were less than perfect.
(Let's face it, none of them are.) But what if your parents really—and I mean
really—don't deserve it?

Jesus said, "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who
curse you, pray for those who mistreat you … Be merciful, just as your Father is
merciful" (Luke 6:27-36). Sometimes our enemies are the members of our own families.
God calls us to love them anyway. Forgive them, whether they ask us to or not.
Treat them with respect, regardless of whether or not they deserve it. In doing
so, we're choosing to imitate our heavenly Father, instead of our earthly parents.

The fifth commandment affects everybody. Every person has parents.
This holy law commands parents to be honorable. And it says that children must
 obey (in the Lord) their parents, and honor them even if they are not honorable.
Honoring one's parents is related to the development of one's spirituality. To
honor one's parents is, in essence, to recognize them, and this acknowledgment
facilitates for them the potential expansion of their soul.
Honoring a person for who they are allows more of who they are to come through.
Thus we receive through our giving even more than they do through their receiving.  
"Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which
 the LORD thy God giveth thee," Exodus 20:12.
"Honor thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee;
that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land
which the LORD thy God giveth thee," Deuteronomy 5:16.
"Ye shall fear every man his mother, and his father . . . ," Leviticus 19:3.
"Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor thy father
and thy mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well
with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not
your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the
Lord," Ephesians 6:1-4. 
"Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the
Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged,"
 Colossians 3:20-21.

"My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother,"
 Proverbs 1:8.
"A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish man despiseth his mother,"
 Proverbs 15:20.
"Children’s children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are 
their fathers," and, "A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to
her that bare him," Proverbs 17:6, 25.
"A foolish son is the calamity of his father," and, "He that wasteth his father,
and chaseth away his mother, is a son that causeth shame, and bringeth reproach,"
 Proverbs19:13, 26.
"Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she
is old," Proverbs 23:22.
"Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto
thy soul," Proverbs 29:17. 
"For whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom He
receiveth," Hebrews 12:6.

We're Glad You Asked

(Jews for Jesus intake on Honor thy parents)

QUESTION: How can believers resolve the "forsaking" of unbelieving family with God's
command to honor our parents? Didn't Jesus command us to forsake all, including
family if necessary to follow him? What about the Fifth Commandment,
"Honor thy father and thy mother …" in Exodus 20:12? Isn't this a contradiction? 

ANSWER: Of course God does not contradict himself. The command to honor one's
parents refers to showing respect and providing for their material needs
(see Matt. 15:5 and Mark 7:11). The concept of honoring one's parents was never
intended to designate absolute, slavish obedience by a mature adult. In ancient
times it was considered right for a child to disobey his parents if obedience
would lead him or her to disobey a divine command. In that respect, honoring God
came before honoring parents. The following passage from Everyman's Talmud
* (which quotes from the Babylonian Talmud) bears this out: 

It is possible to think that even if the father ordered his son to defile himself
or not to restore a lost article which he found, he is to obey him; consequently
there is a text to teach, "Ye shall fear every man his mother and his father,
and keep My sabbaths" (Leviticus 19:3). All of you are alike bound to honour Me (Jeb. 6a). 

Two different terms are employed above, viz. fear and honour. They are defined as
follows: "By fear is meant that he does not stand in his father's place, occupy
his seat, contradict his statement or decide against his opinion. By honour is
meant that he provides him with food, drink, clothing, and shelter, helps him in
and helps him out" (Kid. 31b). 

While the above quotation clarifies ancient Jewish thought on the matter,
Ephesians 6:1-4 clarifies the teaching of Scripture on this subject: there is
necessary and logical balance between obedience to parents in the Lord and parental
obligation to bring up their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. 
Taken from Jews For Jesus at Jews For Jesus
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"Teach Respect"

"Be kindly affectionate one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;" Romans 12:10
  God's Word says to give honor to whom honor is due (Rom. 13:7). Not only should we honor people,
we should also give honor to worthy institutions and principles. God has given three institutions:
the home, the church, and the government. When proper respect is given to these institutions,
behavioral conformity will follow the dictates of the Word of God.
  During the nineteenth century, American schools and churches put great effort into teaching
respect for God, family, and country. Teaching respect is still needed today, as it was over one
hundred years ago.
  The instructor must understand that this respect is not natural and runs contrary to our carnal
nature. He must teach his pupils both how to respect and what to respect. (God's Word teaches us
to obey our parents and to pray for those in authority over us. Obedience and prayer are good
actions to incorporate when teaching respect.) The student must understand that respect for God,
the church, and the family is something that is pleasing to God.
  "Some people may respect you some or even all of the time. However, I believe the greatest
compliment a teacher can have is the true respect of his students." -- a future teacher.
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"Jesus said to the Pharisees and scribes"

Mar 7:10  For Moses said, Honor thy father and thy mother; and, whoso curseth father or mother,
let him die the death: 
Mar 7:11  But ye say, If a man shall say to his father or mother, It is Corban, that is to say,
a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; he shall be free. 
Mar 7:12  And ye suffer him no more to do aught for his father or his mother; 
Mar 7:13  Making the word of God of none effect through your tradition, which ye have delivered:
and many such like things do ye. 

 ( Mark 7:11,12 ) Jews could evade responsibility to parents by declaring their
substance Corban, "devoted to God."  Religious leaders evidently condoned 
this clear circumvention of both the letter and the intent of the Old Testament.
 ( Mark 7:13 ) Jesus' quarrel was not with God's word, but with human misuse
of it.

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